Thoughts on smoking

When thinking along the lines of smoking, there are 3 kinds of people:

1) Smokers
2) Occasional Smokers
3) Non-smokers.

You see, my dear reader, smoking is like a religion. There are as many brands of cigarettes as religions and while they all involve the same general process (light, inhale, exhale etc.), the packaging is as much as part of someone's identity as the activity of smoking. I'll give you an example, in dublin there are skangers (undesirable folk) and their stereotypical brand of smoke is John Player Blue. Anyway, like religion to the religious, cigarettes are involved in every smokers lives in the same way. The person gets up to pray in the morning as often as a smoker gets up in the morning for a smoke. There's always a situation where a number of religious people gather together to pray just as often as there are situations where smokers all gather together to smoke.

Now occasional smokers are like fair-weather Christians or Agnostics. I'm not sure how to explain this. These would be people who wouldn't really be religious, but would say they were on certain occasions when they see their religious friends. In smoking terms, these are the people you see smoking when they're out drinking. And when they're asked they always say,
"Oh I don't smoke, but I do when I'm drinking". It's pretty much like when someone says,
"Oh I'm an atheist, but I'll celebrate Christmas to get presents!".

Finally we have the non-smokers. These are the Atheists. Now it's uncanny how similar Atheists and non-smokers really are, it's almost scary in fact. Just look at this,

There are non-smokers/Atheists who really don't give a feck about what the smokers/religious do. Even if the religious/smokers are being religious/smoking around them they don't care, they don't let it bring them down. But then you have the obnoxious, self-righteous slugs who go out of their way to try and convince you that being religious/smoking is wrong as if they actually believe that you're going to stop because they told you it was wrong.

It's funny, while I'm writing this I can see how we could acheive world peace. It's quite simple really, just start thinking like a smoker. It makes no difference to you what the person next to you is smoking, they're doing the exact same as you only with different packaging. You might think that what they're smoking is bad, but who are you to talk, you're smoking yourself! Currently we're undergoing a situation in the world where people are too focused on the packaging and not at what's inside. A cigarette is a cigarette whether it's in a gold case or a paper packet, it's got the same chemicals, it's got the same effect.

So the next time any of you non-smokers give out about a smoker, you just remember. We aren't as judgemental as you, we know what's in the packaging and we'll freely admit to it. We see everyone around us as equal in relation to us, so get down off your god damned high horse. You getting on your high horse and telling us smokers what we're doing wrong is exactly like what that street preacher you made fun of was doing, shouting mindless babble that everyone's heard before and will just zone out. So either spark up or shut up...