Twas the night shift before Christmas...

Well here I am writing out my thoughts on this Christmas eve night. It's interesting how people change at Christmas time. Your usually down to earth friends become spoiled brats riddled with jealousy, and the neurotic busy-bodies all of a sudden are taking it easy and not doing anything, all while the lazy people all team up to put everything together.

I get especially surprised at how easily we allow ourselves to be consumed by the consumerism that surrounds Christmas. The very fact that Christmas is no longer about celebrating the birthday of the Messiah, but instead about celebrating maxing out of all of your credit cards. I've been quite annoyed every year at how people would say "What did you get for Christmas?" instead of "How was your Christmas?". Even if you ask the latter, you'll still get an answer similar to an answer to the former.

What did you get for Christmas?
I got a goldfish!

How was your Christmas?
It was great! I got a goldfish!

But what I'm especially pissed off at are those pointless presents that people get each other. Last year I got an alarm clock that's powered by onions. Who in their right mind writes to Santa and says,

"Dear Santa,

This year I bought way too many onions, I'd appreciate it if you could bring me a clock that's powered by onions so I have a use for my surplus onions.

Sincerely yours

Onion-boy"

Now that being said, I love quirky gifts. That is, if there's a purpose behind them other than "I couldn't think of what to get you so I bought this remote controlled ham". No, I'd much rather get something I need, which never costs more than €5 anyway. For example, my grandmother asked me what I'd like for Christmas and I told her that I wanted a potato peeler. Why? Because my one is broken, yes I broke a potato peeler. My mother asked me what I'd like and I said I'd love a set of chopsticks!

Lets just compare that with my sister, who when asked presented my parents with a 3 A4 page list of gifts she wanted. Compare that again with several of my friends who asked for games consoles that they've already got, but are buying another one so they can have one in their room AS WELL as the lounge!

I don't like to go on a "Think of the poor children starving in Africa" rant, mostly because whenever someone does that everyone closes off and says,
"That pretentious prat's at it again!". Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that Christmas is about more than just presents.

It's about family, by that I mean relations that you haven't seen in a year and could live quite a happy life not seeing them for several more. It's about the food, hastily prepared by people who want to watch Terminator 2 for the 1000th time that day. It's about the booze, which will eventually lead to the argument that rips the family apart for year. It's about those phone calls about 4 weeks before Christmas where the conversation always goes the same way,

"Hi Felix, How are you?"
I'm grand, you?
"Oh I'm just great! I haven't seen you since Christmas, what have you been up to?"
Oh the usual, this and that, more of that than this these days but at least it's something eh?
"We were wondering if you'd come over for Christmas dinner."
I'd love to, but didn't you have a fist fight with my grandmother last year over the texture of the mashed potatoes?
"Oh yeah, but it's all in the past. [Insert name] is taking care of the mash this year!"
Oh wonderful, I suppose I'll head to the chemist and the off-license. I'll need to stock up on ice packs and beer.
"Why?"
Judging on last year, we're going to need it...